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Studio "Ekran"
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The Very Blue Beard
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Translation/Subs by N.Giroux (nadejg)
Edited by Niffiwan
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Case #
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Oh how many curious stories,
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Unsolved mysteries...
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Come to mind from time to time.
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For example:
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There once lived a duke in Europe --
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-The Blue Beard,
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who had a weakness...
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a hobby, really --
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he liked to kill his wives.
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And every time, as the duke
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was about to commit another evildoing
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an incredible blue beard would grow on his face.
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Why did he do it?
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Were his victims all that innocent?
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It's hard to say
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But it'd be rather interesting to solve this case.
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With the help of guesswork, fantasies and imagination.
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Even more so because this gloomy story could
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shed some light on modern relationships between
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our wives and us.
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-Hello, my dear darling.
-Yes?
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-Today I'll be late.
-But why?
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-My work's requiring
-Work?
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-I'm serious, wait
-So what's the case?
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-A mysterious hair
-Oh, a hair...
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-...of a sort that's quite rare
-Uh-huh
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-It's perfectly blue! It's perfectly blue!
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I'll see the case through.
-Of course...
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-No, listen, until
-Go home immediately
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-But I'm at work still...
-I don't care.
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-What am I to do?
-When will you be coming?
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-Perhaps around nine
-With brunettes till then?
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-What brunettes?
-The ones in pink dressed.
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-What dress?
-Don't pretend, angel.
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-Just take the two tablets,
They're there, in the chest.
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-So, when are you coming?
-Perhaps around eight.
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-Is this for certain?
-But no guarantees.
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-You're getting fresh.
-I'm not fighting, please.
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-Back to your old ways, huh?
-I haven't done jack!
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-Again talking back?
-What have I done wrong?
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-Answer me now, or divorce!
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-Well, quarter to eight, it won't be too long.
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-This is no life.
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-They're there, in the chest!
-This is no life.
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One time there lived a duke,
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He had enormous wealth.
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A lovely, thick beard grew on him-
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He never shaved himself.
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Not red, not even grey,
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But rather blue, they say.
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Like sky,
Like sky and waters deep.
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And later they found out,
This feudal bloke was skilled --
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For all the girls he married
He very swiftly killed.
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It used to be, he'd marry,
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His face would get all scary,
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And then his deadly urges he fulfilled!
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We are immensely curious --
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Oh, where had he got,
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An esoteric beard like that,
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This murderous hot-shot?
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One really can go mad with fright --
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Look at what horrors wedlock might
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Bring to those girls who "tie the knot."
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That's not what it's about
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It's just that bearded match
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to every cunning lass
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was duke, a wealthy catch.
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With connections, and name
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And his blue beard untamed.
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But butcher
Butcher, all the same.
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A great book about
The blue nightmare!
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A wonderful present
For a married pair!
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Good triumphs over Evil --
That's how these things go.
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The story was written
By Frenchman Perrault.
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A great book about
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The blue nightmare!
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A wonderful present
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For a married pair!
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Good triumphs over Evil --
That's how these things go.
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The story was written
By Frenchman Perrault.
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-My dear Monsieur, I realize
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Whom 'tis my grace to see.
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I'll tell you all about myself
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And tell it truthfully.
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And so, back then I lived alone
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Roamed 'round the castle in strides
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So lonely and so sad I was
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-While waiting for his brides.
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-My age was over thirty then
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For fatherhood I'd wish,
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For marriage and a wife at home...
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-...who'd keep him on a leash.
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-I wanted all the proper things:
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Love, duty, family.
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-I wanted to discourage him
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But it was not to be.
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Since at that point, you see
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Just like a pink mirage,
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Turned up quite magically
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Our first great personnage.
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Marianne, oh Marianne
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You will make me the happiest man!
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So come closer to me Marianne
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And seal me in your tender embrace.
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And please hurry to me with your grace.
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Take my heart and the keys to the place.
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Hello my dear ogre,
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Blue bearded autocrat
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You're out touch with fashion
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I plainly can see that.
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And meanwhile in Italia
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Italia, Australia...
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And then in Paris also,
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(Which some have said is closer).
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Their style is in the newer phase
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They'd think your beard has seen its days
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And such and such would get their praise
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And they could do all that!
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Yes, they could do all that!
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Their furniture is not like this
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Their lacquered surfaces -- a bliss
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Old man, you're in a mental fog
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We'll get a cat and ditch your dog.
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-I saw an English lady. Two pooches near her.
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-This changes all the matter
Your dog I shall prefer.
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But where's my precious goblet?
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Our guests that were awaited?
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Mon cher, my goodness, you --
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You ARE so outdated.
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You act like you're some tyrant
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Just sit the way I sit
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And please just mind your place
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When I will point to it.
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Any man, even if he's a duke
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Would like some warmth in his marriage,
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Some basic attention...
Nevermind love.
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You can bear it all, if you have it.
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But when you don't...
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you get sad and philosophical
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And, excuse me, who needs that?
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And then...
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...one day
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Sorry dear...
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...it just happened like that.
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-Then for a while I was distraught.
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I couldn't cry enough
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-Until appeared in a haze
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Our second lady-love.
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-Lilianne, oh Lilianne
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You will make me so happy again.
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So come closer to me, Lilianne
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And seal me in your tender embrace
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-I will do...
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Yes, I will
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But for now... shut your face.
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You're overgrown, my lord!
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And on this beard of yours
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Some vitriol you poured --
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The cause of all your sores!
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With all emaciation
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Your girth I'm plainly seeing.
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You treat your own well-being
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Like an abomination!
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-I never have been sick...
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-And he's so strong and brave!
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-You're half-way in a grave...
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But I will fix you quick!
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There'll be no more steaks
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Cutlets go bye-bye.
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And consider cakes --
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A nonexistent lie.
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Butter: spoon a day
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Salt: decrease intake
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-Meat and wine, you say?
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-Wine and meat we may
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keep for our guests' sake!
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Instead, you'll get...
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Iron nerves and kidneys clean.
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Just like this without a stop.
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Jog with yoga in between
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On and on until you drop.
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For your health's good virtue,
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Do your headstands right!
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-And don't change your posture
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Walk like this, keep tight.
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Breathe, make exhales slow
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Take care not to fall...
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-What if he's still fine though?
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-What if I'm still fine though?
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-Then don't breathe at all!
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-But you will get...
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Iron nerves and kidneys clean
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Just like this without a stop.
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Jog with yoga in between
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On and on until you drop.
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-Life is getting tighter
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Nothing is amiss.
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-Strictly regimented
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every single kiss.
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Excess of impulses
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With cold shower douse!
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-Happy you will be...
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-Happy you will be...
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Angel, not a spouse.
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Instead I will have...
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Iron nerves and kidneys clean
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Just like this without a stop.
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Jogging, yoga in between
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On and on until you drop.
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If you put yourself in the poor duke's shoes
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You'd grow a blue beard too
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And then you have two choices:
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To run way... or...
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Sorry dear...
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...it just happened like that.
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-Rage made him blind 'bout womankind
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-It's easy to see why
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I roamed and roamed
And then some more
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-And time did also fly.
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-But then I dreamt my former dreams,
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-All those caprices weird
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As if from darkness -- so it seems,
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His third bride then appeared.
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Vivienne, oh Vivienne
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Be my wife through all years' span.
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So come closer, my sweet handsome man,
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And seal me in your loving embrace
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What a long hoped-for moment of grace!
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Here's my heart and the keys to the place.
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Our new life we shall adorn with flowers,
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But shave your beard, my darling, please do
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Nothing should stand between this love of ours
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Much less moustache and beard so blue.
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We'll have songs, we'll have guests, drinks a-pouring
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Everyday, all the time, fun abound.
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Up in love's firmament
We'll be soaring.
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And we will take along
Our lovely hound.
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We'll have steaks, we'll have wines -- rich cuisine
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All is pleasure and charm for us two.
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And the bounds of our love can't be seen
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Yes, the bounds of our love can't be seen
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-There's no end when love's true
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-There's no end when love's true
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...when love's true.
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Glory to the Duke and the Duchess fair!
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Such a marital bliss here at last
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Upon my blue beard, I swear
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I could not hope for this in the past.
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And I swear upon this deer bone donation.
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No other mistress could please me thus.
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Duchess, do accept our congratulations
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And please do pay attention to us!
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I'll caress and I'll soothe, I'll be giving.
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And again I will want to caress.
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If I could just embrace all that's living,
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I'd be thrilled and I would acquiesce.
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We're free like the wild birds through and through
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Don't get jealous and pale
Don't get blue.
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For in love bounds are few
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And the more that you have,
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-And the more that you have...
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-Yes, the more that you have
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Oh, the more that you have
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The more it grows strong and true!
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Who's gonna argue --
It's pleasant when
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many friends flock to your house.
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It's less so when your wife's beauty
272
00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:31,080
Gives wings to all of them.
273
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,880
...and even more annoying
274
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:36,080
when friends take their time flying away.
275
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,600
In a case like this, don't even think of
276
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,680
leaving for some war or hunt.
277
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:51,600
Otherwise when you come back,
278
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:55,080
you might get more than just a blue beard.
279
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:06,600
Your friend might misunderstand you and before
280
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,600
you have a chance to say
"Sorry dear"
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00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:13,680
It'll just happen like that.
282
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,200
Farewell, farewell my friend so kind
283
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,280
You saw how things occurred
284
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,680
My gruesome guilt
You'll have to find --
285
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:27,800
Weigh justly every word.
286
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,800
And may your fate provide for you
287
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,880
For all the sins of mine
288
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:34,680
Warm, gentle care that is true
289
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,600
And faithful love divine.
290
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,600
-Hello, my dear!
-What time is it?
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00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,680
-It's half past midnight
-Thank you.
292
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:47,880
-Give congrats, my dear!
-About what?
293
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,400
-The case's closed, alright.
-And it was blue?
294
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:52,600
-Oh yes, it was blue.
-Some special soap bars?
295
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,080
-What soap?
-Beards are never blue!
296
00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:57,600
-Oh, aren't they now?!?
But this one sure was!
297
00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:00,800
-Ah, nice story.
-Oh, I've made this up?
298
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,840
-Sick of your lies...
-I'm a liar now?
299
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,600
-You were hanging about with...
-Me?!? hanging about?!?
300
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,680
-Fine, hanging AROUND!
-No such thing!
301
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:09,800
-And did you have wine?
-What wine?
302
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,200
-Oh, her diet won't allow?
-What diet?
303
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:15,600
-I want a divorce!
-That's it my dear darling!
304
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:16,800
I'm coming home -- NOW!
305
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:22,200
Dear wives!
306
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,600
Our version of the story
may not be fully objective
307
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,600
If that's the case,
308
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:29,080
Sorry darlings...
It just happened like that...
309
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:35,480
Screenplay by A.Arkanov
Music: G.Gladkov
Lyrics: U.Mikhailov
310
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:41,440
Directed by V.Samsonov
Art director: I.Makarov
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00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,560
Video: V.Milovanov
Sound: V.Vinogradov
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00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:47,080
M. Boyarskij: Detective/Duke
O. Anofriev: Duke's dog
Voiceover: A.Belyavsky
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00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:51,600
V.Ignatjeva: Marianne
M.Smirnova: Lilliane
L.Dolina: Vivienne